Kind words break

1. If you like, jot down what happened. It's only shown back to you, never saved.
2. Go through three short steps: name the hard moment, remember that other people feel this too, then pick or write some kind words.
3. At the end, save your kind words if you want them to greet you next time.

The three steps follow the "self-compassion break" from psychologist Kristin Neff: notice that this is a moment of suffering, remember that suffering is part of life and you're not alone, then offer yourself kindness, with an optional hand over your heart (Self-Compassion Break (opens in a new tab)).

The evidence is for longer programmes, not this one short exercise. In a 2024 trial with NHS healthcare staff, a four-week online self-compassion course raised self-compassion and wellbeing and lowered stress and burnout, compared with a waitlist; only about half the course group gave complete data, and the lead author sells the course (Super et al., 2024 (opens in a new tab)). A review for young people found some evidence that self-compassion programmes reduce anxiety and depression, but only a small number of mostly small trials (Egan et al., 2022 (opens in a new tab)). So treat this as a short practice that may help, not a fix.

• After a lost match, a bad grade or a mistake at work, when your inner voice turns harsh.
• When you're replaying something and beating yourself up about it.
• Any time you'd go easier on a friend than on yourself.

This is a wellbeing exercise, not treatment. If you feel low most days, talk to someone you trust or a helpline.